The Work Within Weekly Edit
A weekly collection of reflections, patterns, and things helping me make sense of modern life, and considering what I’m noticing emotionally, culturally, online and within myself.
Reflection of the week
We can only go as deep with others as we’ve gone with ourselves. Barriers to deeper connection often stem from one person confronting their trauma, processing it and integrating it as they do the work within, while the other might avoid, distract or deflect. No option is correct, but if you’re frustrated by a lack of depth within your relationships, one’s ability to sit with discomfort and be proactive about unlearning patterns will shape how well you are able to connect with them on a deeper and more fulfilling level.
A pattern I’m seeing
When we aren’t afraid to confront our own feelings, traumas or problems, we often resonate with those doing the inner work around us too. I’ve noticed that the people I’ve surrounded myself with share similar stories of breakthroughs in therapy, recognising patterns that have held them back, and an encouragement of each other as we do the work within. It comes back to the theory of resonance, and I’m hear for it.
Something worth reading, watching or listening to
What I love about Susan Jeffers’ groundbreaking book ‘Feel the fear and do it anyway’, is the concept of the Life Grid. Here, Susan outlines the importance of separating your life into about nine different squares, with each square representing an area of your life like spirituality, work, friends, relationship, hobbies and so on. The idea is that by spreading your life out like this, you’re taking each off a pedestal, so that should one leave, you won’t feel the absence as much because you have eight other squares to focus on.
Things helping me this week to do the work within
Trying to slow down where I can. Morning coffee? Drink it slowly. Eating dinner? Eat it slowly. Talking to a friend? Talk slowly. The more that you take your time, the more your nervous system will acclimatise to a slower pace, helping you to feel calmer overall.
A question I’m sitting with
How do we find the right balance between slowing down and surviving in a world where we are surrounded by instant dopamine, gratification and click-bait?
Interested to hear your thoughts.