The Work Within Weekly Edit
A weekly collection of reflections, patterns, and things helping me make sense of modern life, and considering what I’m noticing emotionally, culturally, online and within myself.
Reflection of the week
If you’re anxiously attached or have a tendency to want to rush relationships, speed through the talking stage or force intimacy, although it can feel familiar and reassuring to your nervous system, if you start off at 100%, the only place you can go from here is down. Focus on a slow burn, and cultivating s good life outside of a romantic relationship.
A pattern I’m seeing
Struggling with stillness can affect people at any age. My 90 year old grandma recently confided in me that she struggles to sleep because of the struggle she has with sitting still. We think that stillness is something smartphone savvy folk struggle with, but it can affect anyone at any time.
Something worth reading, watching or listening to
If you enjoyed reading my article on why talk therapy sometimes isn’t enough, listen to the Healing Honeys podcast on this exact topic.
Things helping me this week to do the work within
I’ve shared it in a post this week, but using AI tools for self-reflection, accountability and insight on my attachment hunger and anxiety has enabled me to show up more securely in the talking stage and to recognise my triggers and where I still need to do some work. AI has been a great tool in helping me to understand and make sense of my emotions, and I really believe this is critical to expanding my window of tolerance and enabling me to sit with uncertainty.
A question I’m sitting with
What a regulated nervous system looks like and how to maintain levels of regulation in a triggering relationship. Insecurity, the tendency to pedestal partners and dealing with uncertainty can be dysregulating. I’m sitting with the question of “at what point do we fake a regulated nervous system until we make it our default?”